Realms

Intro
there are many planes of existence to the NWP. The realms can be enterd either by sacrificing all your clothes to gnomes or master baiting on a portal whilst shouting the chant of that realm. No one has made it out alive yet, but ruaraidh plans to enter with the high council. Although no one has survived the other realms, huacluck hath revealed thine sacred Knowledge.

Gateway chants
These are the chants that can get you in to the diferantt realms.

Cannabis land - tha gun shot th fayah!

aumingjargard - ngaye have a pussssssy and no self respect

narnia - lord of the rings rip off

blackpool - thou shall enter the drededd realm off which despair shall follow, may huacluck hath mercy apon thay soul as I, A mere mortal go into the realm of suffering.

tir na bod mhor - diiiiiiiiicks

the kingdom of nandos - haucluck, I shall be a waiter, chef and a customer of the great nandos paradise, viava nandos

Discription
this is the discretion of the realms.

wankerdom
wankerdom is the realm we are in now. All of wankerdom is owned by the king, apart from the nation of stcamivijch. Wankerdom has had the most wars of any realm. The most prised thing in wankerdom is info about porn, which countries usually use to make alliances.

Cannabis land
cannibis land has meadows filled with weed guarded by 420 Rastafarians. It is still recovering from the great blazing, from which bob marly was born and fled to an island in wankerdom called Jamaica.

Aumingjargard aumingjargard
is Icelandic for pussy land. It is filled with pussies, not real ones ( woud have been awsome, but ow well) but figurative ones. it is said to be the spiritual home of the Kevens.

Narnia
children,lions,sentars,talking animals and shitty writing

black pool
black pool is stuck in the past and yet still ages. Old people go to relive there past and die there. All young ones how are in the wrechedd place are doomed and lonely and will wait until the passing of time will make them conform to  be another old Zimmer rider doomed to walk the streets of a place tackier than products made by victims of the one child policy and worse than hell.

tir na bod mhor
in Gallic It means land of the big dick. there are tall Mountains and frost. Giants storm around naked  smashing rocks and HATE the aumingjargard folk. In the centre there is a 69 mile long dick shaped mountian which is sacred to the nude giants.

kingdom of nandos
that kingdom of nanos is the home of haucluck. It is a huge nandos where food, drink and life is infinite. It is the greatest realm and because divine chefs cook the chicken in its pure nandos recipe from haucluck. The waiters can sense what you want to eat and drink and travall the speed of light and do not drop the plate ever. And if you wank in the toilet no one looks at you funny. You dine with huacluck fridays.